Why Lupita Nyong'o Is My Hero

In addition to giving an amazing performance in 12 Years a Slave, winning and Oscar last night, and being a generally brilliant and wonderful person, Lupita Nyong'o gave a heart-wrenching and poignant award acceptance speech at the Black Women in Hollywood luncheon a few days ago.

During her acceptance speech at the Black Women in Hollywood luncheon, Lupita (I refer to her as her first name not as a sign of disrespect but because in my head we're best friends and therefore on a first name basis, naturally) begins by sharing a letter from a fan. This fan thanks Lupita, because she was about to bleach her skin until she saw Lupita, a beautiful dark-skinned woman, in the media.

Lupita then went on to share her own struggles with norms of beauty and how she used to pray to god every night that she would wake up with lighter skin. This heartbreaking story about her childhood prayer struck a chord with me, as I remember my own struggles with norms of beauty as a child. I've always been embarrassed by my struggles. But hearing Lupita speak so honestly and so vulnerably makes me think that it's time to stop being embarrassed because talking about these struggles can be so much more productive.

My mother read my journal one day when I was 11. She was livid when she came across something that indicated that I wanted to be white. She yelled at me and made me swear never to let my father know what I had written because "it would kill him." At the time I was afraid and confused and ashamed, but in retrospect I don't blame my mother for her reaction because I know reading that must have broken her heart. She wasn't really angry with me, I think she was angry that her daughter had to grow up in a world facing racism and constant messaging that her child was not good enough and could never be good enough. I think she felt helpless as she realized that no amount of support and encouragement at home could protect me from the world in which I lived.

 I have no recollection of ever having written that journal entry, but thinking back on my childhood I'm not surprised that I did. I grew up in predominately white environments, often finding myself to be the only student of color in my classes. I suffered relentless bullying for years of my life and wanted nothing more than to just blend in. I hated being different and I hated that my difference was on my skin for all to see. And it wasn't just that all of my peers were white, but that all of the images of "beautiful" and successful women on TV and in magazines were white.

We NEED more strong, beautiful, black women as role models. We need to spend more time highlighting the amazing work of ALL women, rather than obsessing over their bodies and reserving the spotlight for women who fit the mold (i.e. young, white, thin, etc). We need to redefine beauty for ourselves and to openly share our experiences of difference, so that the next generation of girls might not suffer as we did.

Blackface

Just don’t do it. You may think it’s funny and harmless, but it’s really not. Do you really want to join the ranks of racists, such as the minstrel actors of the 19^th century that guy who dressed up as dead Trayvon Martin for Halloween? I don’t think there is any hope for that guy who dressed up as Trayvon Martin and his horrid friends. Their actions show such a profound hatred and disrespect as they eagerly and joyfully recreate the violence perpetrated on the black community. They’re lost causes.

But for other people, people who aren’t hateful to the core, what on earth would possess you to engage in this racist tradition? Last night I went to sleep crying after watching and episode of 30 Rock in which one of the characters dressed up in blackface for Halloween. That act in and of itself is seemingly benign, but it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists within this troubling history and very real current problem of racism in the United States. By referencing that deeply racist tradition, even in jest, you are reinflicting wounds, the depths of which you cannot even begin to understand.

Total-lack-of Representation

That's right, I'm not talking about an "Miss Representation." I am talking about being so severely underrepresented in mainstream media that at times I wonder how it is even possible to dismiss and erase the experiences of non-white, non-straight people in mainstream media. Sometimes I find myself having a sort of existential crisis when I am watching one of my favorite scifi shows where you have all sorts of fantastical creatures, magic, and a total disregard for silly rules like gravity, every so often between the action scenes and suspense I realize that there is no place for me even in that fantastical world where seemingly all things are possible. There may be talking dragons, but there are absolutely no strong, nuanced characters of color. Teleportation, time travel, no problem! Well, come to think of it, queer characters of color are almost never a problem ever because we simply fail to exist!!!!!!!!!

Oftentimes it's just a game where my wife and I place bets on how long before they kill off the only character of color. Our half-joking remarks are nothing more than an attempt to lighten the horribly depressing fact of the matter: that characters of color are formulaically expendable and disposable.

While I continually find myself shocked (though I really shouldn't be at this point) and appalled (I refuse to desensitize myself to sexist, racist, and heterosexist representations) in television and films, I have pretty low expectations in terms of mass media. However, seeing these same patterns perpetuated in young adult literature under the guise of providing girls with strong role models makes my blood boil.

P.S. The above is a post I drafted but never published about a year ago. Now Sleepy Hollow exists and I have newfound hope! Characters of color, standing around talking to each other! And not just as token stock characters, as real dynamic characters with complex histories who drive the plot! I feel warm fuzzies like that time when Gina Torres was kicking as on Firefly :-D

Hilariously Accurate Explanation of "Reverse Racism"

I know this has been circulating for quite a while now, but I just need to post it because Aamer Rahman perfectly explains the concept of "Reverse Racism." I wish I had this clip on hand years ago to direct people to instead of trying to have this infuriating conversation while trying to keep my head from exploding.

Uncritical Patriotism

I live in Boston. The bombings last week were approximately 2.5 miles from my house. I experienced the shock, fear, and uncertainty that has rocked this city over the past several days. However, the amount of unchecked patriotic rhetoric that has been carelessly thrown around since the terrible bombings have left me feeling frustrated, angry, and alienated.

I am so grateful for the outpouring of support in this city and throughout the nation for the victims of Monday's attack and for all of us whose sense of security has been shaken. I am grateful for the emergency responders and even for sports teams who have acted in solidarity to show their support during this difficult time. However, I do NOT feel comfortable with the rise in feel-good patriotic rhetoric circulating.

When I tried to express my concern and discomfort at work today (where news coverage touting American ideals contrasted with traumatic scenes and descriptions of the attack played constantly) a colleague of mine argued that Patriotism isn't problematic because it makes people feel good and "American values are objectively positive." She disagreed with my discomfort (how do you disagree with someone's discomfort?!?) and I felt more frustrated and alone than ever. By not buying into the patriotic rhetoric uncritically, this sweet but naive young woman deemed me, though I am sure unintentionally, a "bad" American.

This morning at the "interfaith" service in Boston President Obama said: “I’m here today on behalf of the American people with a simple message: Every one of us has been touched by this attack on your beloved city. Every one of us stands with you" (Boston Globe). Who, pray tell  are these American people of whom you speak? Can we pause for a moment and acknowledge the fact that the terrorists very well could have been American? Who do you really mean when you say the "American people?" (note: We now know that the key suspects in this case are of Russian origin, but we have plenty of examples of home-grown terrorists. Think Newtown or Oklahoma City.)

While it's incredibly important to support each other during trying times, why can't we support each other as human beings rather than as nationalists? Patriotic propaganda may feel good and help some people to feel supported and a part of something larger than themselves. I get it. But can we please think about the dangerous repercussions of this rhetoric? If Americans are brave and strong and righteous, does that mean that anyone who is not American fails to possess these traits? What about immigrants? What about people of color? Are we "real" Americans?

Rhetoric that sets up an "us vs. them" dichotomy oversimplifies the issues at hand and lead to dangerous situations, both in discourse and at times physical violence. As as person of color and a first generation American, this patriotic rhetoric frightens me. It perpetuates notions of American supremacy and encourages fear and mistrust of the "Other."

Sadly, the effects are already visible. To my young colleague, and so many others who embrace nationalist discourse without stopping to think about the implications, I find myself struggling to explain the basics of nationalism in this emotionally charged time. I began attempting to explain, but then realized that she probably has never thought about what the nation IS. Not everyone has had the luxury of sitting down with peers to discuss the work of Benedict Anderson and to ponder the social construction of nations. But an understanding of postcolonial theory shouldn't be necessary to understand that inclusion in the nation is only possible at the expense of excluding "Others," right?

Maybe it is asking too much of people to think critical during such an emotionally charged time, though I think that during emotionally charged times it is especially important not to get swept up in patriotic messages at the expense of others. Because while some people feel comforted and included, the rest of us are feeling more alienated than ever.

Born to be Wild -- Colonial Legacies

So, I have been sitting on this one for quite some time due to my crazy schedule over the last few months, but I saw a movie at the Boston Aquarium recently that was adorable and yet terribly unsettling.

 The movie was called "Born to be Wild 3D" and it documents two programs that help orphaned wildlife in terribly "exotic" and romanticized corners of the world (note: this is drenched in sarcasm and distaste). While the baby animals were unbearably cute, my main critique lies with the choice of human subjects in the film. Though the documentary follows animals in Kenya and Borneo, filmmakers chose to follow elderly white women, blatant remnants of colonial legacies in these countries, as the protagonists. The white women give many interviews describing their love for the baby animals and how amazing it is that they are able to "rescue" them. All the while, black Kenyan men are seen in the background actually taking care of the baby elephants!!! These Kenyan men remain nameless and voiceless throughout the film. No one bothered to ask them about their roles in caring for the animals. While the colonial women are imparting their knowledge of these wild animals, the Bornean and Kenyan caretakers are seen playing with the animals in the background in a way that constructs them as "wild" and "animal-like."

 In this day and age, why do cute films aimed at child audiences continue to reify colonial legacies without questioning the role of race in representation? Why did it seem as though I was the only person in the theatre who left feeling mildly disturbed by the portrayal of people of color as mere props in the background of these white women's heroic stories? Normalizing this type of representation of race and colonialism in entertainment for our children makes it that much harder to deconstruct these problematic (and powerful) notions in the future. While children leave thinking about the cute monkeys and elephants, on a subconscious level there is much deeper schema-building at work. Without even realizing it, by leaving these representations uninterrogated, we encourage our children to accept these representations as truth and thereby reaffirm pervasive and institutionalized racist, Western-centric thinking.

Gun Violence: Blaming the Mentally Ill

“‘People who have mental health issues should not have guns,’ Mr. Cuomo told reporters. ‘They could hurt themselves, they could hurt other people.’” (NYTimes.com 1/15/2013)

True. Anyone with a gun could hurt themselves or other people. While I am hardily in favor of restricting the sale of lethal weapons, I am concerned that statements such as the one above works to further stigmatize an already marginalized population. Increasing stigma around mental health issues will only make people LESS likely to seek support for themselves and their children.

 Also, how are we defining "mental health issues?" I suffered from severe depression as an adolescent, though I am currently a happy thriving adult. Do I still count as someone with "mental health issues?" Do you only count as having a "mental health issue" if you seek treatment and your "issue" is documented by a licensed mental health professional? What about the millions of Americans who suffer with mental health problems but remain undiagnosed? Is it okay to sell them a gun so long as they don't mention their troubles to a doctor or therapist?

 Long story short, I completely agree that this epidemic of mass shootings indicates more than a just a gun problem; these tragedies point to a failure of the mental health system in this country. I firmly believe that any comprehensive approach to preventing more of these tragedies requires gun legislation reform as well as a close examination of the state of mental health in this country. However, I do NOT think that legislation that further stigmatizes mental illness is the way to go. Helping people who struggle with mental illness to receive the treatment and support needed to live fulfilling lives is not exactly the same as pegging the mentally ill as criminals.

 Don’t get me wrong, I am not arguing that people who report that they plan to harm themselves or others should be in possession of assault weapons. I am arguing that only addressing one side of the issue (i.e. punishing those who struggle with mental illness rather than promoting mental health and wellness) will not lead to the kind of change that I think the legislators hope to achieve. And in the meanwhile, mental health becomes even more taboo and stigmatized in the process.